So how does the situation in the Middle East affect me? When you are between three worlds it can be kind of dizzifying. It seems that in the first of my worlds people are seeing a carefully controlled and orchestrated series of intense visual images and intense talking heads, most of whom seem to have the same opinions and the same recommendations. People who don't take the time to search the internet for alternative views will probably eventually be persuaded, though surely a certain number must be cursing all parties involved because they are forever fighting and causing problems for the rest of the world.
Here in the third of my worlds, the biggest concern seems to be getting this country's workers out of Lebanon safely. A very practical, down-to-earth concern. A few returnees have been interviewed by the press and the general consensus is that they are glad to be away from the bombing and most are not interested in going back - ever. Other than that, the major headlines have to do with domestic issues with the middle east mess taking a definite back seat.
Next week I will be going to the second of my worlds. The vast majority probably know little of the conflict. If they know anything at all it probably falls into the category of general background noise. After all, the folk in the Middle East have been fighting forever, so what's new? But for a certain segment of the population, their news comes from sermons. Some are also able to access news from the internet. A few days ago it was announced that a group was planning to go to Lebanon to help their brothers in the faith, dozens from nearly every country in southeast Asia. Whether it will actually happen remains to be seen since nobody has any money for the trip, but it does show a growing anger and frustration with what is more and more widely perceived to be the ongoing harassment of their faith. Stay tuned....
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
What will you do for money?
When you live in another country long enough, it starts to feel like home. There are many things you like about it and some of the things that were difficult or strange at first become everyday and even enjoyable (except durien, of course.) But there also are a few things that can still be disturbing even after years.
In the third of my worlds, one of the things that I find distressing is women. Don't get me wrong, women in this country are not particularly oppressed as we commonly think of it. Many women are in government, running businesses, they are doctors, educators and the like. Women are vocal and women make the world go round and are the glue that holds family and community together. (I have smiled more than once as I hear a woman on a rampage over the back wall screaming at her man. The male voice eventually subsides while her voice rat-a-tats on for another quarter of an hour. I think an unspoken rule here is "Don't argue with a woman who's in a rage.")
What distresses me is the way some young women "prostitute" themselves for dreams of money, or for their families' dreams of money. The two main ways are by "marrying" foreigners and working as overseas contract workers. Let me share a few stories to try to explain.
Yesterday Ramona, a 26 year old school teacher, married a foreigner that she met over the internet. They had never met until he arrived two weeks ago to arrange a visa for her to accompany him back to his country. On the day of the wedding Ramona's mother discovered to her horror that the dress she had just bought for the wedding didn't fit. I mean, it really didn't fit, she couldn't even close the top. So she had to make a run to a local department store leaving all the guests gathering at the location. Ramona's groom-to-be had a temper tantrum threatening to get on a plane and leave if Ramona didn't come out without her mother and get on with the wedding. Poor Ramona's mother. She was already horribly embarassed at being the cause of the delay and then for the son-in-law to show so much disrespect in front of the guests, well, it doesn't bode well. Somehow he was calmed down and the wedding did proceed two hours later. They left today for his country. All I can say is that I wish Ramona well.
A friend of Ramona's, Daisy, will also be marrying a foreigner she met over the internet whom she has never met. Daisy, who is 20, will be getting married next month and will meet her fiancee a few days before the wedding. Unlike Ramona, Daisy didn't even finish high school. She finds it difficult to speak English. But she is convinced that God has given her this fabulous opportunity to marry a foreigner and have lots of money and move to his country. Her family is poor and lives in a remote village. They are very excited about the wedding. Again, all I can say is that I wish Daisy well.
It seems to be assumed that marrying a foreigner will make you a lot richer and you will have money to share with your extended family. I had a 20 year old neighbor, Peachie, with a three year old daughter. She had a foreign "husband" who supported her and his child. They had met in a bar when she was 17. He would show up about twice a year for a few weeks. He had a family in his own country and so they couldn't legally "marry". He was 60 years old. When he wasn't there her house was full of relatives who came and enjoyed sitting around eating for free and watching televison and not having to do anything . Peachie also eventually found a local boyfriend who along with the relatives, would get kicked out temporarily whenever the "husband" came. Peachie eventually got smart and moved into a smaller place that would hold fewer relatives and started saving money for the future.
When Joseph, a young attractive foreigner moved to town for a couple of years, the girls in his church youth group quickly determined who was going to be the one to set her hat, so to speak, for Joesph. (I think Joseph had no choice!) Coached by her mother, Lina made herself available to show him around town, to accompany him on errands. She visited his apartment, shopped for him, cleaned, arranged for his laundry and generally became indispensible. When Joseph left, Lina went with him and they were married there. Last I heard they are still together, both working.
But it is not only marrying foreigners. Another avenue is to be an overseas worker. I do not know how many thousands or tens of thousands of women and men go overseas every year to work in foreign countries. Most claim it is because they cannot find work here, or at least they cannot find good wages here. Many women work as domestic helpers.
Connie is a college graduate. She got pregnant her last year of college and married the father, a young man from her home town. He is a hard worker, a farmer, and owns his own land. But he did not finish high school. Connie feels acutely that neighbors laugh at her because she went off to the big city to earn a degree to be a teacher and now is just a housewife like them. Connie would get up at 4am to do the washing and get it hung up before daylight to avoid having to see the neighbors. Connie signed up to be a domestic helper in the middle east, telling every one that she is doing it for her 18-month old daughter's future. Connie went and has been there now for 2 1/2 years cooking and doing laundry for a family of five in the Middle East. Her mother is raising the daughter and hopefully saving the money Connie sends back.
Lira is also a college graduate. She applied to work as a singer in Japan, pleased that she had passed the audition. The company advanced her fare to the capital city. When she arrived she discovered that the job would also involve strip dancing in bars. She was upset but didn't have money to go back home. Indeed, every day the company "advanced" them a small amount of money for food that went onto their bill. So their debt to the company continued to increase. Other girls who were also initially reluctant, decided that they had no choice but to go ahead and agree to do the strip dancing because they had no money to pay off their ever-increasing debt and were too ashamed to ask family for help, especially since their families back home were so excited about all the money that they hoped to receive. Luckily for Lira, a former employer advanced her the money to pay off her debt and return home.
Another woman I met had worked two years as a domestic helper overseas, faithfully sending as much money back home as she possibly could, at great personal sacrifice. She was devasted upon returning home to find that the two brothers she thought were going to college had frittered away the money for other things and were not in school, that her family had not used the money to improve the house but had spent it on other things.
Rita, mother of seven, had gone to work in a clothing factory in the middle east for two years in an attempt to get cash for her childrens' future schooling. Upon arrival, she found she was only paid per piece of rather complicated sewing and her actual income was no better than she would have made at home. She was devastated but had signed a contract so she worked her two years and came home with almost nothing.
Of course for all the Ritas, Connies, and Liras, there are others who find that the work they do overseas is reasonably tolerable and they are able to save money. For all the families that fritter away the hard-earned money sent to them, there are many who do use the money wisely, for childrens' education, for home improvement, for starting a small business. For all the Ramonas, Daisys, Peachies, and Linas, most women who marry foreigners do seem to find at least some degree of financial benefit and some also find happiness. I guess those success stories are why young women continue to try those avenues.
But I still find it distressing to think of what some of these women will go through for their dreams of money. I guess there is nothing new under the sun....
In the third of my worlds, one of the things that I find distressing is women. Don't get me wrong, women in this country are not particularly oppressed as we commonly think of it. Many women are in government, running businesses, they are doctors, educators and the like. Women are vocal and women make the world go round and are the glue that holds family and community together. (I have smiled more than once as I hear a woman on a rampage over the back wall screaming at her man. The male voice eventually subsides while her voice rat-a-tats on for another quarter of an hour. I think an unspoken rule here is "Don't argue with a woman who's in a rage.")
What distresses me is the way some young women "prostitute" themselves for dreams of money, or for their families' dreams of money. The two main ways are by "marrying" foreigners and working as overseas contract workers. Let me share a few stories to try to explain.
Yesterday Ramona, a 26 year old school teacher, married a foreigner that she met over the internet. They had never met until he arrived two weeks ago to arrange a visa for her to accompany him back to his country. On the day of the wedding Ramona's mother discovered to her horror that the dress she had just bought for the wedding didn't fit. I mean, it really didn't fit, she couldn't even close the top. So she had to make a run to a local department store leaving all the guests gathering at the location. Ramona's groom-to-be had a temper tantrum threatening to get on a plane and leave if Ramona didn't come out without her mother and get on with the wedding. Poor Ramona's mother. She was already horribly embarassed at being the cause of the delay and then for the son-in-law to show so much disrespect in front of the guests, well, it doesn't bode well. Somehow he was calmed down and the wedding did proceed two hours later. They left today for his country. All I can say is that I wish Ramona well.
A friend of Ramona's, Daisy, will also be marrying a foreigner she met over the internet whom she has never met. Daisy, who is 20, will be getting married next month and will meet her fiancee a few days before the wedding. Unlike Ramona, Daisy didn't even finish high school. She finds it difficult to speak English. But she is convinced that God has given her this fabulous opportunity to marry a foreigner and have lots of money and move to his country. Her family is poor and lives in a remote village. They are very excited about the wedding. Again, all I can say is that I wish Daisy well.
It seems to be assumed that marrying a foreigner will make you a lot richer and you will have money to share with your extended family. I had a 20 year old neighbor, Peachie, with a three year old daughter. She had a foreign "husband" who supported her and his child. They had met in a bar when she was 17. He would show up about twice a year for a few weeks. He had a family in his own country and so they couldn't legally "marry". He was 60 years old. When he wasn't there her house was full of relatives who came and enjoyed sitting around eating for free and watching televison and not having to do anything . Peachie also eventually found a local boyfriend who along with the relatives, would get kicked out temporarily whenever the "husband" came. Peachie eventually got smart and moved into a smaller place that would hold fewer relatives and started saving money for the future.
When Joseph, a young attractive foreigner moved to town for a couple of years, the girls in his church youth group quickly determined who was going to be the one to set her hat, so to speak, for Joesph. (I think Joseph had no choice!) Coached by her mother, Lina made herself available to show him around town, to accompany him on errands. She visited his apartment, shopped for him, cleaned, arranged for his laundry and generally became indispensible. When Joseph left, Lina went with him and they were married there. Last I heard they are still together, both working.
But it is not only marrying foreigners. Another avenue is to be an overseas worker. I do not know how many thousands or tens of thousands of women and men go overseas every year to work in foreign countries. Most claim it is because they cannot find work here, or at least they cannot find good wages here. Many women work as domestic helpers.
Connie is a college graduate. She got pregnant her last year of college and married the father, a young man from her home town. He is a hard worker, a farmer, and owns his own land. But he did not finish high school. Connie feels acutely that neighbors laugh at her because she went off to the big city to earn a degree to be a teacher and now is just a housewife like them. Connie would get up at 4am to do the washing and get it hung up before daylight to avoid having to see the neighbors. Connie signed up to be a domestic helper in the middle east, telling every one that she is doing it for her 18-month old daughter's future. Connie went and has been there now for 2 1/2 years cooking and doing laundry for a family of five in the Middle East. Her mother is raising the daughter and hopefully saving the money Connie sends back.
Lira is also a college graduate. She applied to work as a singer in Japan, pleased that she had passed the audition. The company advanced her fare to the capital city. When she arrived she discovered that the job would also involve strip dancing in bars. She was upset but didn't have money to go back home. Indeed, every day the company "advanced" them a small amount of money for food that went onto their bill. So their debt to the company continued to increase. Other girls who were also initially reluctant, decided that they had no choice but to go ahead and agree to do the strip dancing because they had no money to pay off their ever-increasing debt and were too ashamed to ask family for help, especially since their families back home were so excited about all the money that they hoped to receive. Luckily for Lira, a former employer advanced her the money to pay off her debt and return home.
Another woman I met had worked two years as a domestic helper overseas, faithfully sending as much money back home as she possibly could, at great personal sacrifice. She was devasted upon returning home to find that the two brothers she thought were going to college had frittered away the money for other things and were not in school, that her family had not used the money to improve the house but had spent it on other things.
Rita, mother of seven, had gone to work in a clothing factory in the middle east for two years in an attempt to get cash for her childrens' future schooling. Upon arrival, she found she was only paid per piece of rather complicated sewing and her actual income was no better than she would have made at home. She was devastated but had signed a contract so she worked her two years and came home with almost nothing.
Of course for all the Ritas, Connies, and Liras, there are others who find that the work they do overseas is reasonably tolerable and they are able to save money. For all the families that fritter away the hard-earned money sent to them, there are many who do use the money wisely, for childrens' education, for home improvement, for starting a small business. For all the Ramonas, Daisys, Peachies, and Linas, most women who marry foreigners do seem to find at least some degree of financial benefit and some also find happiness. I guess those success stories are why young women continue to try those avenues.
But I still find it distressing to think of what some of these women will go through for their dreams of money. I guess there is nothing new under the sun....
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Karaoke
A few years ago I was stranded for several days at a hotel with a number of other passengers. We were waiting for an ancient plane to be repaired, the one that was scheduled to take us to another world. At night in the hotel dining room there was a television set playing a video with all sorts of old American songs in English. A bouncing ball would highlight the words on the screen. To my amazement most of the passengers seemed to know all of the songs and would sing along with gusto. I wondered where they had learned all those American songs? That was my first introduction to karaoke.
Since then, I have discovered that karaoke is rapidly becoming a cultural feature of southeast Asia. For those who do not know, karaoke is a term applied to any of various types of mega amplifiers attached to a microphone. (There may also be a video like there was in the hotel, but since one usually can't hear it, I can't be sure.) Parties of any sort seem to demand a karaoke and renting out karaokes is a big business. Party attenders take turns trying to sing using the microphone. It is not at all uncommon to be able to hear these wannabes for blocks. It is usually true that the singer needs the practice, but one wonders why they think the entire region wants to hear them practice. And should jaded neighbors, unable to sleep all night complain, they merely receive the innocent reply, "Oh, well, you see we had a party," which of course explains everything. Naturally the young teens feel that it is wasting an opportunity if they don't take advantage of the presence of an ultra humongous amplifier, so the day after the party you get to hear it all over again until finally, mercifully, the rental truck comes and picks it up and peace descends once again.
These mega amplifiers have many uses. In some parts of southeast Asia, the electronic band has now become a fixture at weddings and birthday parties, and even in churches, not to mention discos, bars, and the like. These giant amplifiers can broadcast the band to the next province. It is an amazing experience to be standing outside at night looking at the Milky Way galaxy spilled across the clear star-studded black sky, to the background noise of a wannabe band wafting over the rice paddies....
Since then, I have discovered that karaoke is rapidly becoming a cultural feature of southeast Asia. For those who do not know, karaoke is a term applied to any of various types of mega amplifiers attached to a microphone. (There may also be a video like there was in the hotel, but since one usually can't hear it, I can't be sure.) Parties of any sort seem to demand a karaoke and renting out karaokes is a big business. Party attenders take turns trying to sing using the microphone. It is not at all uncommon to be able to hear these wannabes for blocks. It is usually true that the singer needs the practice, but one wonders why they think the entire region wants to hear them practice. And should jaded neighbors, unable to sleep all night complain, they merely receive the innocent reply, "Oh, well, you see we had a party," which of course explains everything. Naturally the young teens feel that it is wasting an opportunity if they don't take advantage of the presence of an ultra humongous amplifier, so the day after the party you get to hear it all over again until finally, mercifully, the rental truck comes and picks it up and peace descends once again.
These mega amplifiers have many uses. In some parts of southeast Asia, the electronic band has now become a fixture at weddings and birthday parties, and even in churches, not to mention discos, bars, and the like. These giant amplifiers can broadcast the band to the next province. It is an amazing experience to be standing outside at night looking at the Milky Way galaxy spilled across the clear star-studded black sky, to the background noise of a wannabe band wafting over the rice paddies....
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Putting on a good face
This first story probably falls in the category of gross, but clearly demonstrates the universal tendancy for people to want to put on a good face.
In this neck of southeast Asia, roads are not usually straight, even on flat ground. When going up in the mountains this is even more true because in addition to the uneven surface you now have curves too tight for big busses, plus potholes, cracks, gulleys, and residue from landslides to maneuvre around. Added to this is the fact that there is a HIGH tendancy in the local population towards motion sickness. Need I say more? Anyway, one day Udin was riding on a minibus and was seated next to a very attractive young lady. Imagine Udin's anxiety when he began to get carsick. I mean REALLY carsick. What to do? Well, Udin came up with a most face-saving solution - he swallowed it again. Neat, huh? No fuss, no mess. The attractive girl never knew.
In this neck of southeast Asia, roads are not usually straight, even on flat ground. When going up in the mountains this is even more true because in addition to the uneven surface you now have curves too tight for big busses, plus potholes, cracks, gulleys, and residue from landslides to maneuvre around. Added to this is the fact that there is a HIGH tendancy in the local population towards motion sickness. Need I say more? Anyway, one day Udin was riding on a minibus and was seated next to a very attractive young lady. Imagine Udin's anxiety when he began to get carsick. I mean REALLY carsick. What to do? Well, Udin came up with a most face-saving solution - he swallowed it again. Neat, huh? No fuss, no mess. The attractive girl never knew.
BetweenThreeWorlds
BetweenThreeWorlds was started July 22, 2006. A friend recently commented that she feels like she is between two worlds. She was born in an isolated community in the mountains in southeast Asia but her family and many neighbors were moved to a new village in the lowlands two or three decades ago. She has finished college and can use a computer but daily interacts with family who can't read, don't speak the national language, still plow with cattle, trim their toenails with machetes, and cook on wood fires. She is a Christian but also knows and hears a lot about the spirit world and the machinations of others who fool around with black magic. She loves spaghetti and pizza but can chow down boiled bananas with the best of them! So I, who am between three worlds (at least!) thought it might be fun to put some stories out.
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