Bibulousness?

Sometimes we find entertainment in the oddest places. Shopping, for one, can be very entertaining. Today I was looking for a couple of dish towels to replace some old ragged ones. My friend pointed out a package of three dish cloths. I started reading the package and the more I read the more I realized that these dish cloths were not just ordinary dish cloths, they were Newgeneration Washcloth. Across the top it said they were Grease removing, Softness, Bibulousnsness. (Bibulousness???!!)
Further down it said that they were Antibacterial. Wow! This was getting interesting. On to the fine print: “Sewing at warp-wise and crosswise by combining high-density natural fibre surface with the best soft interior lay, it features
solid and deformation with the best using effect.” Further below it says “About 30x30cm. No need desizing. Noshrinkage Nodeformation.”

Perhaps it’s a good business principle to only estimate the size. After all why pay extra for quality control equipment? Not sure if the No need desizing. Noshrinkage Nodeformation are commands or boasts. I am mighty curious as to what bibulous means though. So I turn the package over and there’s more: On the back in addition to being Grease removing, Softness, and Bibulousness, they in addition are No plasm, No shrinking, and high strength. No plasm. Hmm. Do other dish cloths have plasm? I wonder.

But there’s more:

Features: The inside and outside layers of it (it has layers?) are prepared scientifically (!) with the features of better softness and bibulousness (there it is again!) as well as better effect in grease removing and stronger in strength. It doesn’t go moldy, rotten & unhealthy even in water for a long time. (Oh yeah?)

Usage: It can wash all kinds of bowls, dishes & wares, mop up polished furniture, automobile, bath cloth etc.

Materials: Natural fiber

Made in C---

What can I say? I am tempted to get them and put them in water for a long time just to see if it could possibly be true that they won’t go moldy, rotten or unhealthy. I am also curious as how it could mop up polished furniture. All our furniture is rattan so I guess I’d have to try it on somebody else’s polished furniture. It says it can wash all kinds of bowls and dishes and other wares – like the under wares I saw in the lingerie department today?

The more I thought about those miraculous bibulousness dish cloths, the more I thought maybe I should get them. (Oh the power of advertisment!) For $1 I could have not one but three stronger strength, bibulous, no plasm dish cloths. What a deal!

As soon as I got home I got out my dictionary. Sure enough bibulous was in there.

bibulous adj 1. Given to or marked by the over consumption of alcoholic drink: a bibulous evening. 2. Very absorbent, as paper or soil – bibulously adv – bibulousness n.

Aha! Mystery solved. These miracle new generation antibacterial cloths are ABSORBENT!

While I was at it I also looked up plasm. plasm n. see germ plasm 3.
So I looked up germ and the third definition says: a microorganism, esp. a pathogen. Ok, got it. These miracle cloths are PATHOGEN-FREE. I surely got a good deal today!