Sad stories for Christmas

I think I am coming to the conclusion that it is not possible to completely solve the problem of poverty.

Lola is a 23 year old girl from the mountains. She and her two siblings were raised by their grandmother, and an aunt paid for her schooling through high school. She then came to the city and got a job in the fish market. There she met another orphan, also raised by his grandparents. He was a fish slicer. They didn't get married but just moved in together, which is quite common these days among the young folk. The excuse is that they don't have the money for a wedding. There are also plenty of older people who have been previously married who have "live-ins" because divorce isn't legal.

Six years later Lola has 3 children ages 1, 3, and 5. They rent one room in a house located over the ocean. There is no bathroom. All waste goes beneath the house where the tide carries it off each day, though of course it can be pretty smelly during low tide. They buy water from a neighbor, paying per bucket. Cooking is done over charcoal, usually outside unless it is raining. The husband lost his job a few months ago for some unknown (to me) reason and only intermittantly works now. He seems to have his heart set on being a fish slicer and doesn't want to look for other work. He spends his days at the market, hanging around with his friends and eating with them, waiting for an occasional opportunity to slice fish. Meanwhile the wife is at home with the kids. She is still nursing the baby and when she doesn't get enough to eat the baby cries a lot. While her live-in worked, they had plenty of fresh fish to eat. Now it's difficult.

She stopped by to pick up some CDs from her aunt. Her aunt gave her fare to go home but after she left, her aunt started wondering why she had bothered to come just for CDs and then realized that Lola probably didn't have any food in the house and had probably been hoping the aunt would give her money. Lola's now embarassed to ask for help because she has had to ask so many times and some of her relatives have begun advising her to leave the live-in and go back to the country where she and the kids can at least plant vegetables and eat.

Thinking about the kids, the aunt collected some stuff around the house, sugar, Milo, coffee, mung beans, a few left-over Christmas goodies and went to the market and bought charcoal, oil, eggs, vegetables, 10 kilos of rice and a kilo of chicken. When she arrived at Lola's house she found the live-in sitting there watching TV, hoping that a lottery ticket he'd bought would pan out netting them about $1.25 with which they planned to buy food. Lola had apparently bought 1/4 kilo of rice with what was left from the bus fare and they had eaten rice soup for lunch. The kids were super excited to see the Christmas treats and the big package of Milo.

Lola's grandmother has begged her on several occasions to come back to the country and so have several of her aunts. But she refuses. The man, who is quite large and through it all has managed to keep his weight up by eating with friends, refuses to look for other work. Is he cognitively challenged? Is he unable to think outside his small box? Is he lazy? Or does he just have the problem of being unrealistic? This is the kind of situation that makes relatives and other observers want to pull their hair out.

But you can't run people's lives for them.


Another painful, yet also hopeful story is that of Rita.

Today was a joyous day for a 9-year-old girl I will call Rita. Four years ago Rita had suffered a broken femur. Nothing was ever done about it and eventually the bone became infected. Earlier this year social workers brought her to the city where she was taken in by an expat doctor and his wife who helped navigate the paperwork to get the girl treated. It was a long process with many obstacles. They got her some crutches and she began to be able to get around a bit. She was hospitalized for nearly a month on IV antibiotics to clear up the bone infection. Then she had some heart arrhythmias and the cardiac consultant refused to give permission for surgery. Colds and such caused more delays. She had also been quite malnourished and was tiny for her age. One of the doctors was outraged when he saw her. He said it was child abuse to allow a child to go that long untreated. Social workers eventually brought her 12-year old brother to the city also and he is staying with his sister. He too was tiny and malnourished and had never been allowed to go to school. But finally, just after Christmas in a surgery that didn't start until 11pm and went until 2am, the leg was repaired. Today Rita is leaving the hospital to the great delight of her foster parents and all of her well-wishers. Go, Rita!